So... there's this kid. She looks up to me. She follows me around. She always wants me to play with her. I'm sure you have some little child like that in your life- maybe they're not even a child. I can name quite a few. See, that's good and cute and all, but I don't want to play. I want to be alone. I'm feeling annoyed. Sound familiar yet? It should.
Maybe it's just because I'm not exactly a kid person. No way would I ever get a job as an elementary teacher- I would be banging their heads against the table before the end of the day screaming "Why don't you understand this???"
I snuck out of the house real quiet-like to avoid playtime. I'm kind of embarrassed to share that little bit of grumpiness inside of me. Again, it was me and my dog and God. Out to the walking path once more to ponder life.
I started thinking about missionary families that I knew. People leaving, people returning, people gone. I miss them, but I also envy them. How I long to be out there on the mission field! I've expressed my agitation many times before, but I began to feel it again. I reminded myself that God provided this blog- a way to share my thoughts and revelations from right here in my own home. It's comforting, knowing that I can still be a blessing to people even though I'm young.
So, thinking about my blog, I started to pray. "God, I want to make a difference in the world. Please, please let this blog reach the screens that it needs to. I want it to go to millions! Lord, please, I want to be able to share you with the world and evangelize to the nations!"
Wow. Big dreams, Karis. To millions, eh? To the world, hm? Sounds great- but now that's a million minus one. You just walked out on that little girl back there . . . .
Okay. Brushing that off, back to my ponderings: The world is a big place. How will I manage to make an impact on so great a place? Maybe I should learn a couple new languages. Maybe I should investigate the possibility of Teen Missions. Maybe I should explore different bible colleges and mission opportunities going internationally. Yeah, that sounds good. I need to find a place that grabs my heart- a place where God wants me to go. I sure hope He makes that clear- money doesn't grow on trees!
Karis. Have you considered that God may want you to go back home and show love to that little girl? Forget about the international mission field for just a moment a recognize the one right inside your own door!
Okay... those were some uncomfortable thoughts. Let's forget about that, and move on. Let's see... how do others get noticed? Oh yeah- they write books! Then, people ask them to speak at seminars and conferences and whatnot. Great idea! I need to write a book and get it published. Kay. I hope God strikes me with some Divine Inspiration to make this book fly....
Why don't you read a book to that girl? I want her to see Me through you- but she can't if you're walking out and about.
La-dee-da... where were we? Oh yes. Books. But you know... I really don't know if I have that kind of discipline yet. I need to learn my Scripture so that I can remember helpful passages in times of indecision like this! Well, what about Jesus! He sure got a lot of publicity! How did He do it? Well, I guess He did lots of miracles- but I don't expect to be healing any lepers any time soon, everyone's good here in town as far as I know. But what was the root of His miracles? What was He really doing- something that I can follow? I guess He was... serving. Yeah, He served! Of course!
Aaaaaaaaaaand, there's the kicker.
How can I expect to preach to millions if I neglect serving the people right around me? Shouldn't it start HERE, before it starts going out THERE? Yes, I do think that sounds logical. What was that bible passage about serving . . . ?
Luke 22:24-27 - "In this world, the kings and queens and great men lord over their people, yet they are called 'friends of the people.' But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important? The one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course! But not here! For I am among you as one who serves."
W-w-w-wait. Jesus? The King of Kings... He sure got his message out clearly. And it wasn't by blogging. It wasn't even by travelling throughout the world. It was by... serving. He is definitely the greatest, but He is the servant. And two thousand and thirteen years later, His teachings and His stories are still told and discussed worldwide! His servant spirit was so radical and warped compared to the way we humans like to live, that its still making headlines! People noticed!
He didn't have to worry about writing a book to gain publicity, He didn't have to worry about putting His name out there to publishers, He simply served! He just served, and yet the whole world saw. He wasn't worried about standing up to millions and getting them to listen to His message, He just served. The people came on their own. Even now, so many years later, his foreign way of living hasn't lost its publicity. Maybe THAT'S how I should go about evangelizing....
Yes, Karis. Yes. So how about you go and do something about it?
Just a minute! Okay, I'll start walking back. But I'm finally starting to get it!
Matthew 16:24-25 - "Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
Cool. So that's how I can start evangelizing! It all makes sense! All I have to do is deny... myself. Right. I forgot. Taking up my cross is easier said than done... when the time actually comes- I am very reluctant. But I guess it's what a servant would and should do.
That's right. That's what your calling was this whole time. That was your call to missions- not somewhere way down the line, not years after you've graduated. RIGHT NOW, you had your chance.
When I got home, the girl was gone. I missed out on a golden opportunity to share God's love. I always tell myself that it's my dream to spread God's love- but when that means doing something I don't want to do... I kind of lose sight of that dream. But really, in a time and place where the hardest thing to do is playing with a lonely child, it should be pretty easy to serve. I have it good. And I know that if I can't serve here, I don't have a hope of doing anything worthwhile later in life.
Time to break my old habits, and make some new ones.