So... I blinked. And here I am. Writing from my dorm room. I blinked, and my family moved away. I blinked, and our house was empty. I blinked, and senior year is now here. I blinked, and I'm on my own.
Days are going by too fast for me to notice. But in this whirlwind that life has turned into, my prayer have been short and constant throughout each and every day. Usually, I breathe them as I'm running around in a daze, or as I drift off to sleep. But for the past few weeks, my prayer has been the same few words, repeated over. And over. And over. It goes something like this: "God, make me an impact. Make me an impact. Make me an impact." "God, help me change someone. Help me make a difference. Make me an impact."
I've been whispering it so much. It's what I want more than anything. I've been noticing the same desire in the people around me, as well. In school, I hear people who are running for student council saying, "I want to change things." "I want to make things different."
I'm starting to get the idea that this is a common wish. In some way or another, we all want to do something big. I know I've prayed for the chance to make a difference in someone's life on many different occasions, and the hunger for change has often brought me to tears. Opportunities arise, and opportunities disappear. But we keep praying that we will be the difference maker. We keep hoping that we will change someone. We keep imagining that our home, school, workplace, town, and world will somehow be changed because of us.
We're completely full of it.
1 John 2:6 ~
Those who say they live in God
should live their lives as Jesus did.
The world is chock full of people whose hearts need to change. Every where you turn, you'll see people whose lives definitely need a rerouting. Everywhere you look, people need to start living in the light. Even when you look in the mirror.
That's right. This world is full of people who a.) want to change those around them, and b.) people who don't want to change themselves. Doing quick mental math, we see that this doesn't exactly work. If our world is full of people who focus on changing the people around them but aren't willing to examine their own lives... our world isn't going to even budge.
Ask God to mold your heart. Deal with your life before everyone else's. Like the simple command in 1 John said, those of us who say we abide in Christ, should be living like Him. How did He live? In perfect love.
1 John 1:5-7 ~
This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you:
God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say
we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness;
we are no practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light,
as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each
other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son,
cleanses us from all sin.
He was and is the light of the world. It doesn't make sense for us to want to change people in the name of Christ, but live our own lives in darkness. You see, those who Christ is calling to Himself will be drawn to His light. Whether or not they have access to His light through you, well, that's your decision.
We are not the ones who change hearts. We are not the ones who change minds. We are not the ones who stir souls. We are simply the lenses that Jesus can use to shine His perfect light through. The lenses who are clean, shiny, and perfectly clear are the people who will see progress. And it's not because of what they have done, it's because of what they've allowed Christ to do in themselves.
So don't worry about impacting others. Don't focus on being the one who changes their lives. God wants to use us, but we must be clean. We must be able to clearly reflect His light. Let God impact you, first. Live like Jesus did. And keep in mind how many people He changed, just by loving. And if our heart's deepest cry is to humble ourselves and allow God to form and shape us, then I believe we'd better be bracing ourself for His impact.
My prayer is changing this night. I'm going to continue to repeat the words over and over, but with a slight variation:
"God, impact me. Impact me. Impact me."